April has been crueler than usual in these here parts, what with the vicious terrorist attack on the Boston Marathon. But things are beginning to return to normal in this leafy outer-city part of Beantown. And nothing says return to normal more than a sighting of the rambling and rollicking Cave Man of Roslindale!
Or to put it another way …I’ve wanted to write about the Cave-Man of Roslindale for a long time and tonight is the night!
Let me set the primordial stage. I live and work in Boston and there are plenty of men and women who could pass for cave-men or cave-women. I see them all the time. At this point let me dispel any inference of political incorrectness on your part by stating that race, creed, color, religion, national origin and/or sexual preference, do not matter when one considers whether a person looks like a cave man or woman. Cave men were/are representative of all people even if one’s creed, religion etcetera…etc…did not exist in cave times. That’s just how it was…and is.
Now specifically, let me re-focus this post on a particular individual who I see quite regularly and who any rational person would agree bears a striking resemblance to a Neanderthal: The Cave Man of Roslindale!
I first noticed the Cave Man while driving to work one morning. It was a very chilly and I couldn’t help but notice a guy who looked to be in his sixties, jogging shirtless in the freezing weather. He was really trucking along at a good pace and intermittently blowing steam, and the occasional blast of snots, out of his nostrils. But what was really remarkable about this guy was that he could run shirtless in freezing weather because he was REALLY FREAKIN’ HAIRY! He was so hairy he had hair growing out of his should blades! Hair growing on his arms, never mind his hirsute chest! He had hair growing on hair. The guy was freakish-hairy everywhere but on his male patterned-bald head! It was incredible!
At that very moment I said to myself, “that guy looks like a cave man!”
Not surprisingly, the Cave Man of Roslindale dresses “Old School.” The shorts he wears look to be borrowed from the ’86 Celtics and are cut in such a fashion one doesn’t wonder where they got the term “shorts”. They could pass as swim trunks. Hell, they might actually be swim trunks. Also, the Cave Man wears non-flashy running shoes with old school white gym socks- the kind that stick out of the shoe and covers one’s ankle. The Cave Man does not wear low-cut socks that back in the day were only worn by women and were called peds but are now worn by men but are still peds.
All and all, I have to give The Cave Man of Roslindale credit. I see him out there in all kinds of weather, all year round. And I think any of us would be lucky to be in that good of shape at his age.
Ramble on Caveman! Ramble on!
copyright 2013 Magnus Incognito