Knowledge is Power

After five years, I have finally completed the Encyclopedia Britannica Concise Edition (EBC) which I was reading a page a day before I went to sleep.  It might sound more imposing than it is because the EBC is actually a single volume and not a complete, multi-volume encyclopedia. A minor accomplishment but a lot of fun.

Be that as it may, the 2114 pages in the EBC were quite informative. A vacuous, and intellectually lazy, colleague of mine felt threatened I was reading the EBC and he wasn’t. Consequently, he tried to minimize the endeavor by insisting it wasn’t worth the effort unless I could remember everything I read. I asked him how much of his undergraduate or graduate education he could remember and then didn’t bother to press home the obvious point.

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Truth be told, I read for pleasure entertainment not memorization. The vast majority of entries I read I have already forgotten. Mind boggling facts about chemistry, famous figures in the history of dance, minor historical figures I took a minor and fleeting interest in, all forgotten.

But memory works in funny ways.  There are hundreds of entries that I can’t recall at will, but when the right trivia question is asked they will swim to the surface of my consciousness.

But here’s a showstopper that made it all worthwhile:

Did you know, the Inuit, Maori,and Zulu all have a natural affinity for ventriloquism?

Knowledge is power, baby!!!

copyright 2016 Magnus Incognito

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The Headlines Are Enough for Me

Several months ago, the amazing invention known as the internet informed me that, somewhere on the Indian sub-continent, an elephant was hit by train. This was really bad news but I did the irresponsible thing and resisted the urge to get more information.  I didn’t click on the link to see a picture and my inner voyeur was disappointed.

Recently, I read about an Australian  woman who swam in crocodile infested waters and was unsurprisingly “taken” by a croc. Crikey. A few weeks after that, there was the child eaten by the allligator in Florida.

Then there are the shootings. The mentally ill shooting people, terrorists shooting people., mentally ill terrorists shooting people, cops shooting people, people shooting cops.  Before the shootings in Orlando, a bomb went off in an amusement park in Pakistan killing more children in one blast than have been lost to alligators all year. (My estimate).

Death and suffering aren’t really news are they?

The headlines are enough for me.

Copyright 2016 Magnus Incognito

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Martian Opposition

Mars glowered brilliantly red in opposition in the Eastern sky. And on a tropically warm summer night,  we floated in space, on the still glassy water of Lake Winnipesaukee. The stars glittered magnificently  and their reflection on black, shining waters made it seem like we were floating in the very middle of the Milky Way.  It was 2003, and Mars was in opposition, the closet it had come to Earth in 60,000 years.  We were out in the middle of the lake on a pontoon boat on a family vacation. We appreciated the stillness and the beauty of it all, like we were suspended in time.

But time was moving of course. Mars and Earth kept spinning around the sun for another thirteen revolutions, passing each other until Mars was again in opposition. Life and the world had changed: Loved ones passed away, the world was different.

It was now. Memorial Day 2016. I was in Vermont, and Mars loomed big and impressive over the silhouette of the Green Mountains.  I was grateful to survive long enough to witness another Martian Opposition. Maybe I’ll see a few more.

Time keeps on moving and I strongly suspect we are living inside a magnificent celestial time machine.

Copyright 2016 Magnus Incognito

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A Page Full of Louies

Louis I, the Pious, son of Charlemagne, not to be confused with Louis I or Ludwig I, King of Bavaria. Then there’s Louis II or Ludwig II, better known as Mad King Ludwig of Bavaria, not to be confused with Louis IV or Ludwig IV, better known as Louis the Bavarian, a different king from Munich. Louis VI, more commonly known as Louis the Fat,  spent much of his time subduing unruly French barons and eating comfort food.  Louis VII, known as Louis the Younger, was a co-leader of the failed Second Crusade. Louis the IX, or St. Louis was better at being holy than being a general. Louis XI was exiled to Dauphine and battled the Burgundians. Louis XII kept France in the Italian Wars. Louis XIII married Anne of Austria and really was a trendsetter popularizing the eponymous Louis XIII Style.   Louis XIV, the famous Sun King, built Versailles, had a Beatles song written about him, and rocked his own Louis XIV Style

The Louies go on and on!

A long, wonderful journey is coming to an end.  I started reading the Encyclopedia Britannica Concise Edition (2010) on January 15, 2010.  The plan was to read a page a day and I would usually read every night in bed before drifting off. I stayed on schedule for over three years until vacations, an illness, and other distractions made me fall off pace. But it was so enjoyable, I just couldn’t read to catch up.  Night after night, page after page of interesting biographies, historical tidbits, interesting science facts, all kinds of fascinating things.

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And now, I find myself within thirty pages of the end.  All good things must come to an end, and the pleasure was most certainly found in this journey.

Where else could I have come across a page full of Louies?*

Not to mention the Charles’, Edwards, Fredericks, Georges, Henrys etc…

*several actually!

Copyright 2016 Magnus Incognito

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The Great Re-Cycle of Life

Everyone loves a bargain. Being a cheap bastard,  I am particularly susceptible to the lure of second-hand clothing stores. Over the years I’ve gotten great deals on suits at places like Goodwill, Salvation Army, and Savers. Twenty bucks for a suit, another $25 for tailoring and I’m rocking a suit that looks great and I never would have paid for brand new.

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I was in a second hand store when I had the epiphany.

The shop was in an former old-time department store on a once thriving Main Street. F

ar in the rear of the store, there was a shelf that ran the length of the back wall, filled with old boots on it, side by side. Cowboy boots, biker boots, work boots.

And at that moment it dawned on me : every pair of boots probably corresponded to a guy who passed away.

I realized if I suddenly died,  all my clothes would wind up in a place like that.   

The great re-cycle of life of life I suppose.

copyright 2016 Magnus Incognito

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Shadows Disappear

An early-morning subway car. Sun streaming in the wide window behind me, casting shadows across the floor, a silhouette of me cast under the feet of the people opposite. I’m  running late and can tell because there are plenty of empty seats. As if a plan, people are evenly distributed throughout the train. One seat between each. Except for a few couples; romantic, or parent and child.

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The symmetry is broken as the train collects more people with each stop. The car becomes crowded. Eventually the seats are gone and people have to stand. Everyone is bundled up for a winter day in April.  The shadows disappear as the train goes underground.

copyright 2016 Magnus Incognito

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A Poem in March

March is not a destination month in New England.  It is not known for seasonal magnificence: Neither snow, nor foliage, nurturing rains or fabulous beach weather.  There are no songs about it. April might be great in Paris, but where does anyone go to because it is March?

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In its defense, March is a transition month. Winter and Spring alternate daily. And on a cold, rainswept Saturday afternoon, I thought I’d have some fun and try writing a poem for the Friends of the West Roxbury Library 27th Annual Poetry contest. The theme is mirror/windows:

Before Me

Before me,

Before the mirror,

Was reflection

In a lake-pond

A mystical accident to see one’s self

——————————

Before me,

The mirror was miraculous craft,

An alchemist’s work,

Reflection of self at one’s whim

Amazing simulacrum of everything seen and found anew

——————————–

Before me,

As a child,

The mirror was a fantastic window,

To a world in reverse,

Magically filled with the world backward-again

———————————-

Before me,

As adolescent,

The mirror showed me, I thought,

Unsure and hopeful

A glimpse of the perspective of others

———————————————

Before me,

Midway through my life

I see the years I wear,

Having never imagined being here,

Thinking of when I’ll have no reflection, backward-again

 

copyright 2016 Magnus Incognito

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Two Sparrows

Early Spring has arrived and the weather has been fantastic. Last Sunday, I got up early, put some seeds on the ground for the birds like I usually do, then went to church.

When I returned,  the small flock of birds that gathers everyday to eat the seeds got startled, like they usually do,  when I walked down the driveway. They departed in a sudden whoosh up into the nearby bushes and trees. But then, I noticed two little birds laying on the ground at the start of the driveway where it meets the street.

The two sparrows were dead. I was puzzled and went to the garage to get a shovel. Picking the two up on the shovel blade,  I examined them more closely. No blood or wounds, so a cat hadn’t caught them, or the hawk from the nearby park. And they were a beautiful pair. A male and female. The female was all mottled brown and the male was the same except for a black and white cap. They looked plump and healthy except they didn’t move and their eyes were cloudy white. The little, fine-feathered-fragile machines had stopped.

One of the most basic attributes that differentiate humans from animals is that we bury our dead. I took the two sparrows over to the front hedges and lay them down on the grass while I tuned over a spade full  of dirt. Then I placed them in the ground and covered them up.

I felt bad. The beautiful pair of sparrows must have been killed by a passing car as they swooped in from across the street to get the seed I  put out. Were they mates? Rushing together to feed, build a nest? There would not be any Spring for them. Not anymore.

Later in the week, bundled against a cold breeze on an early Spring morning, I darted through a city park back to the office. In the center of the park was a big, ornate fountain.  The water had long been shut off for the Winter. As I hurried by, a beautiful pair of sparrows popped up on the rim of the fountain. A male and female. Their wings fluttered for an instant and the two flew off. Before I  could even think about hat I had just seen, another pair alighted and took flight just like the first.

I felt better about everything in the wh0le wide world and hurried off to work in a great mood.

Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father’s consent.

copyright 2016 Magnus Incognito

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Leap Day Off And Running

I didn’t leap out of bed because Leap Day fell on a Monday this Happy Leap year.

The alarm went off at 5:15 AM and and I lie there in the pre-dawn dark thinking about how nice the weekend had been. We had taken a road trip to the country and stayed with friends. Then I thought about  the upcoming week and all the worrisome things that will be resolved by friday like they usually are.

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Something jumped on the bed. In the early morning gloom, I could make out Felix my cat crouching near my head, black eyes dilated, staring at me.  By daylight, Felix is orange,  in pre-dawn twilight, monochrome grey. He’s looking at me because he wants food.  I reach out to pet him and like lightning, he turns and leaps across the room running for the kitchen and his breakfast.

Leap Day is off and running!

copyright 2016 Magnus Incognito

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I’d Rather Talk to Myself About This

This New Year’s I decided to give up sweets in an effort to lose weight. Despite going to the gym consistently last Fall,  I didn’t lose many pounds so this year, I decided to give up the whoopee pies, candy bars and other sugary treats I love so much.

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Things were going pretty well until I came to the realization that my work-out regimen and giving up sweets didn’t give me the results I was hoping for: I’d only lost a few pounds and it was mid-February. It occured to me that I needed to radically change my diet to really lose weight. After all, if the definition of insanity is dong the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, making a small change in my diet was too close to the same old thing to ever come up with a different outcome.

Everything was going great with my newfound realization until I told a friend at work about the situation. He was clearly not in good shape but that didn’t stop him from launching into a long list of suggestions and improvements I should implement to get into super shape. It wasn’t long before I regretted bringing up the subject. I had no one to blame but myself.

And that’s when I had my second great realization: I’d Rather Talk to Myself About This.

copyright 2016 Magnus Incognito

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